Steff Metal

First of all – here is what I wore:

Ew, my stockings are falling down a bit. I need to get some garters.

• Black lace dress with lace tail. (Smoove, on sale for 50%)
• Black leather bustier (21st birthday present from a big group of friends. One day I will tell the amusing story of how we found this corset.) It’s beautiful and very unique – I think it’s been handmade. It’s lots of little scrappy squares of leather sewn together into the bustier. There’s no boning so I won’t call it a “corset” but the stiffness of the leather gives it a nice shape.
• Red ribbed thigh-high socks, from Sock Dreams (present from wonderful Mum and Dad Metal.) They’re so lovely and warm
• Steel-cap NZ-Safety boots
• Orange scarf, gift from Mum Metal, from Australia (not many of you would know this, but orange is actually my favorite colour. Or would be, if I could see colours.)

I have a tail!

Orange Scarf

I’ve seen Amanda Palmer before, when she came with the Dresdon Dolls in 2006, I think it was. They were most excellent then, but now, she’s incredible. Ten minutes before Hera, the opening act, was to start, she came out into the bar to give out hugs and sign stuff. I got me a hug, and one of my postcards signed. She’s tiny, and lovely. I went by my lonesome, but met up with my friend Levi and some of his friends, Max from the good ole Hawke’s Bay, sporting some fine steampunkey threads, Vince and Louisa (hi guys!) who were all very lovely. I squeezed my way to the front for the show.

Everyone’s jostling to get the three inches closer to the front of the stage, the lights dim, and nothing happens. Suddenly, everyone turns around. Amanda’s on top of the bar, dressed in a corset and star-spangled stockings, singing “he’s making whoopie” and strumming her Ukelele. She saunters up to the stage, sits down at the keyboard and hits a dramatic first note. Nothing happens. Que soundman – who manages to make the keyboard work. She opens with two songs from her solo project, Who Killed Amanda Palmer? – “Ampersand” and “Astronaut”.

Amanda Palmer

If you go to an Amanda Palmer show, you can’t expect to just stand there, arms folded, and watch. It’s an entire performance experience. You, as the audience, collectively create the experience. She encourages this. One of the first thing she said when she saw two of the girls in front of me trying to take photos of the setlist (why? I don’t know) was “Don’t worry about that. I don’t use it anyway. I normally just ask what you guys want to hear. I want you to tell me “.

Next, we had “Ask Amanda” where we all wrote questions down on scraps of paper and passed them onto the stage. The first one she pulled out wanted her to tell us about the first song she ever wrote. We asked her to play it: Herein follows the delightful video evidence (poor Amanda.)

She then performed an Exorcism on the first Twilight book.

Twilight Exorcism

What did we have next? More song requests: “Oasis”, “Half Jack”, “Coin-Operated Boy”, a brilliant cover of Michael Jackson’s “Billy Jean” (it has to be good for me to say this because I’ve never liked Michael Jackson songs. Don’t shoot me – it’s just not my thing). Then she played the song she wrote in Wellington, NZ, backstage during her last tour. I have a video of that, too.

10 Reasons Why Amanda Palmer is awesome

1. She’s a testament the power you have to touch people’s lives with music, especially when you reach out to fans over and above simply writing and releasing songs.
2. She’s a shining example of how an effective use of blogging and social media can grow your business and totally change your career
3. When she performs, she gives it everything she’s got. I’ve seen bands who “go through the motions” but when she plays, you feel as though you’re hearing this song as she writes it, with all the emotion dripping from her voice
4. She is clueless about pop culture
5. She’s beautiful, inside and out
6. She writes crazy, wild music about life in all it’s glory, beauty and folly
7. She loves Black Sabbath
8. She’s brutally honest and completely open
9. She creates am incredible live atmosphere because of her devotion to creating the show YOU want to see. Her shows are more a conversation between herself and the audience. I believe they call it “breaching the wall”. I wish more bands would embrace this – I’ve only seen one metal band do this, and that was Opeth.
10. She’s engaged to Neil Gaimen, which shows us all she has impeccable taste.

So yeah, I had a good night. How did you spend St. Patrick’s Day?

Steff

What did you do on Sunday? I had the best day ever.

See? We did actually hijack a train.

CDH and I and 20 of our closest friends spent the day at Glenbrook Vintage Railway. Now, this may not sound exciting, but with 20 metalheads, anything can … and does … become automatically awesome.

I decided I wanted a steampunk-themed birthday party, to celebrate finishing (and possibly selling) my steampunk novel this year. As you all know, metalheads love to dress up, so the idea of pulling out the corsets and crinolines and bustles and fantasy goggles appealed to all our friends, who put serious effort into their costumes for the day.

Amy and Kelli rocking their handmade steampunk outfits

Amy and Kelly came around to our place earlier to get dressed. They made their steampunk outfits themselves, and had raided the local antique shops for their hats and watches and telescopes.

Gallery Serpentine corset

I'm on a train! (it's cooler than being on a boat)

I wore:

• black tulle skirt, $4 from second-hand shop
• black ruffled shirt, from Smoove, a present from friends for my last birthday
• Forest green corset, from Gallery Serpentine
• Pandora beads, including cute new Pumpkin bead from Jessocles and JP for my birthday
• Top hat, from Camden markets – with Essex badge and cameo broch on it.
• fingerless gloves, Glassons
• chainmail spike bracelet, gift from BFF linley from the US
• Leonardo de Vinci socks, from Sock Dreams (gift from parents – who rock!)
• Jeffrey Campbell boots (another gift from parents – who doubly rock!)
• studded SDP belt (from somewhere in Aus), Skull and crossbones belt (Supre, of all places!), eyelet clip thing from bondage pants, chains (from Glassons, years ago!), leather pouch from a pair of binoculars

Iris and Steff

Iris looked beautiful, as usual, and had her goggles made by a friend who creates movie props. They looked amazing.

Kelli, Aaron and Amy

Aaron looked like a dapper genteel serial killer. He made his glasses himself, including the laser sight.

You rang?

Liz in her steampunk costume

Liz had another awesome costume – she made her goggles and watch herself, and found her jewellry and her wicked camera (you cn just see it behind her arm) at an antique store.

Tarah and Tim in steampunk costume (beautiful photo by Ryan Fogarty)

Tarah – who I think must be one of the most beautiful ladies in the world - and Tim, looking quite dapper for a drummer.

Levi's got me!

CDH - the "running wild fan"

CDH came dressed as “a Running Wild fan”. He prefers to stand behind the camera.

Help!

If you want to have a similiar birthday, these tiny vintage railways exist all over the world. They’re usually run by volunteers and are quite inexpensive to visit. We chartered a carriage for the entire day for $250, which split between 20 people, turned out to be about $12 each, plus $1 extra for a jigger ride. The railway put some trestle tables in the carriage for us and we each brought a plate of food and drink to share.

Horns Up! \m/

We had heaps of fun taking crazy photos on and off the trains. The Glenbrook railway stops at the maintenance sheds for 10 minutes each trip, so we had several stationary trains to climb over as well. The other visitors kept stopping us for photos – and the volunteers thought us great fun.

So long! Do forget to write!

I’m going to have to think of something extra-awesome for next year to top this. Any ideas?

Steam up!
Steff

Ich bin fünfundzwanzig Jahre alt!

birthday cupcakes!

I’m 25 years old today. It’s nice. I like it. I’m feeling it.

Some people loathe their birthday, and I’ve never understood that. But then, I was talking to Father Metal on the phone last night and he pointed out I’ve packed more into my quarter century than most people do in their entire lives”.

I think maybe this fear of birthdays stems from. A birthday is a time when you’re forced to step outside yourself and look objectively at your life. Looking back can be terrible, if we haven’t done what we wanted, or what we should have done, or we know we’re going nowhere. On the other hands, us perfectionists can feel like we’re letting ourselves down – “another year over and I still haven’t got that Pulitzer!”

Here are some ideas for celebrating your birthday the “metal” way, and not being sad you’re another year older!:

Find out who was born on your birthday, and theme a party or do something fun related to them. For example, Pierre Auguste Renoir was born on my birthday, so to celebrate, I might take a life-drawing class or sketch my husband nekkid while he’s not looking. Or I could celebrate with Sean Astin (Samwise Gamgee from Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings) by having a hobbit picnic in the park. Or, as Anthony Burgess – author of A Clockwork Orange, also shares my birthday, I might don a strange costume and bowler hat and beat up parishioners …

Along the same vein find out what happened in history on your Geburtstag. I know now that on my birthday in 1751, the first ever performing monkey was exhibited in the US. (I should go to the zoo!) and in 1838 a London pedestrian walks 20 miles backward and forward in 8 hours (I don’t know why and I’m not doing it). My birthday in 1859 was the first use of the “insanity” plea to secure innocence, and in 1932 this was the day immigrant Adolf Hitler recieved his German citizenship.

Do something you’ve never done before. I know I say this a lot, but achieving something – no matter how ridiculous – outside your comfort zone really makes you feel alive. If you can’t think of anything, ask an adventurous friend.

See friends and family. Nothing makes a birthday more enjoyable than spending it with people who care about you.

Write a list of everything you’ve achieved in your lifetime, and a list of everything you still want to do. Then go and do one of those things.

Get some new birthday traditions – borrow from other cultures (see this wicked list of birthday traditions), or make up your own.

Throw the rulebook away: Dispense with the diet for a day, forget about “going for a run”, take the day off work, celebrate! Today I had pie and mocha tart for breakfast, and I’m going to have a huge chocolate sundae for lunch.

Buy yourself a small gift – a new CD, a corset, a mocha tart, just to say “yeah, I’m pretty cool. If I was friends with me, I’d totally buy me this”.

Make a metal mixtape of all your favorite songs from previous years (I’m sure you will remember them) and blast it all day. It’s the soundtrack for your life.

Any more ideas!

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff

I went to the Auckland ACDC show with CDH and our friend Liz last night. It was rather enjoyable, to say the least.

Rock n' Roll train - AC/DC cashes in on Steampunk

The show kicked off with a wicked, anime style train cartoon, which ended with a massive live locomotive steaming onto stage, while ACDC launched into “Rock n Roll train”, from their new album. Johnson’s first note was perfect, setting the stage for a great show. Angus Young stole the show with his typical onstage antics – a delightful striptease during “She’s Got the Jack”, and an extended solo in “Let there be Rock.”

I love the way they’ve cashed in on the steampunk trend, in good old rock n’ roll style. The giant evil black train puffed smoke and had devil horns. The stage was outlined in cogs and gears. The only thing that spoiled the effect was two giant blowup “viking” helmets with the letter ‘A’ stamped on them. I’m not entirely sure how they contributed to the overall aesthetic?

Perhaps I’m overthinking this.

A WHOLE lotta Rosie

They played the old favorites – Back in Black, Highway to Hell and For Those About to Rock (the encore, of course), Dirty Deeds,High Voltage, TNT and Whole Lotta Rosie – during which an immense blowup woman with breats the size of a the millenium falcon )I’m trying to think of something really large and round) descented from the roof and sat astride the steampunk caboose. She wobbled there for the entire song while the band cowered under her enormous boobies. It was brill.

CDH and I had a lengthly debate about whether AC/DC counts as metal. We’ve still not come to a final conclusion.

On the one hand, AC/DC is what people who aren’t into metal think metal is. CDh noted most of the entire crowd consisted of “rockers” who thought they were “metalheads”, but wouldn’t know Amon Amarth from Iron Maiden. He said, sure they’re important to metal’s history, but so is Led Zeppelin and Uriah Heep – would you consider them metal? They also self identify as “rock n’ roll”, not metal.

Brian and Angus

However, AC/DC are incredibly important to increasing the popularity of metal the world over. I said they’ve stuck with a winning formula and with their steady rise in popularity comes the rejection from the undergound which inevitably turns a band from metal to the ambiguous “rock”. Just look at Metallica, who were considered “rock” after the black album, despite the fact the black album is still really a metal album. And I’d call Death Magnetic a metal album, too. But Metallica can no longer be a metal band. Just because AC/DC aren’t blasting out double bass rolls at 250 BPM doesn’t mean they’re not metal. And, if AC/DC aren’t metal, does that mean Manowar aren’t metal, either? Because they’re not all that dissimiliar. I’m sure they’d have words to say about that.

Also, I’ve always thought of Uriah Heep as the first progressive power metal band.

Also, also, if they put on a great show, does it matter? Not really, but CDH and I will discuss it anyway.

Thoughts?

Steff

As the years go by, I’ve been less and less enthusiastic about Christmas. I used to love the holiday – time to hang out with my awesome family, sit back and celebrate the successes of the year gone by, and feel like I was part of something bigger than myself. Christmas is meant to be about relaxing, about family and friends and expressing thanks and joy for what you have.

Christmas is no longer about these things, and I’m so over it. I won’t let this post devolve into a “commercialisation of Christmas” rant, but that’s really how I feel. We put ourselves through incredible stress and <> every year just to buy presents out of obligation. The people we care about are now just items on yet another to-do list waiting to be checked off.

The financial strain and forced time-off work when we can least afford it means we can’t relax. We’re travelling great distances to spend time with equally stessed and strained people. We’re attending Church to placate our grandmothers. We’ve no time or inclination to sit back and ponder the year gone by and plan for the next. We’re too busy performing our Christmas obligations to actually attend Christmas.

Christmas is just no fun.

I want Christmas to mean something again. I’m no longer hip to that religious lingo, and I’m finding less and less to agree with about the way the rest of the world celebrates this holiday. But we’re metalheads – we don’t have to do what everybody else does. We’ve NEVER done what everybody else does.

So lets make Christmas the annual heavy metal holiday!

Change all the Christmas words to metal words.

I love how metalheads consider themselves the world’s theasaurus of epic words. Nothing is ever “the BBQ sauce” or “a milkshake”, it’s always “Satan’s fiery hell-meat-juice” or “the grymn, frostbitten milk drink of eternal sorrow”.

So why not, instead of Christmas, we celebrate “anti-Christmas”, and instead of getting a visit from Santa, we welcome into our home “the grymm spectre of Odin, the Old Man of Winter”. Instead of giving presents we give “foil-wrapped gifts of damnation tied with the curly tail of SATAN.” Instead of roasting a turkey or ham or chicken, what about bringing out the “delicious, meaty bounty of Odin”?

Readers, tell me your best metal Christmas names!

Create “anti-christmas” traditions to be proud of

For me personally, I feel modern Christmas traditions are too tied up in Christian beliefs. While I think the Christian celebrations are beautiful, their charity and generosity over this period is admirable, and the Christmas message they preach is one of love and patience and kindness, I don’t personally count myself among my ranks, and nor do many of my metal comrades. That’s not a bad thing, mind you. It just means that a holiday centred around the values and beliefs of one religious means little to the people who don’t subscribe to that religion.

So if the modern Christmas traditions don’t get you excited, try to find or invent some traditions that do. You make something a personal tradition by doing it year after year, by making it part of your perception of the holiday.

Look to your own history. Do you have. Does your family have any traditions you’d like to keep intact? My family always has a huge roast lunch together, followed by an afternoon of playing cards and boardgames together. I love this tradition and CDH and I will keep it going when we have Christmas together ourselves.

Look to your heritage. Whichever ethnic, racial, cultural, or geographical grouping you belong to, you will have inherited a set of holiday traditions. Do some research. Ask your great grandparents. For example, I have some Croatian/Dalmation heritage, so I’ve been researching their traditions and thinking of ways to incorporate these into our Christmas ideas.

As a metalhead, you don’t have to be religious to find some common ground with more pagan beliefs. Christmas, after all, is an amalgamation of several pagan holidays created by the church as a means of more easily converting the hearthern scum. I’ve talked a lot on this blog about how metalhead “ideals” seem to match pagan ideals and beliefs, moreso than any other belief system. As such, pagan traditions resonate with me, especially those surrounding Christmas.

Christmas celebrations occur at the same time as the Winter Solstice, an important date on the pagan / Viking calender. The days are getting longer, and the sun begins to return. This is a time for joy in Scandinavia, because the winter is bloody dark and bitterly cold. Vikings celebrated for many days (usually 12 – hence the 12 days of Christmas) in their typical Viking way: sacrificing wild boar to Freya, then eating said boar with generous lashings of stout Viking brew.

They would make a sunwheel out of straw, set this alight and roll it down a hill. This encouraged the sun to return. A fun activity for the children. Oh hell yes! In honour of the Yule Goat (how metal is that?) young people dressed up in goat skins and danced around the villages, singing and performing in exchange for treats. They would also dress up someone as “Old Man Winter” who would ride around on a white horse and join the festivities. When the Vikings invaded England, Old Man Winter because the english Father Christmas.

Some of these traditions might find their way into your Christmas celebrations.

Decorate your Christmas Tree … with metalhead style

The Vikings would decorate evergreen trees with food and statues of their gods. They would carve runestones and hang these from the tree also, enticing the tree spirits to come back in the spring.

What about enticing the metal gods to return with a tree hung with miniature beer can, runestones and choclate goats? Heavy metal keyrings also look great hanging from the tree. You can pick these up for cheap at festivals throughout the year. I hung our Wacken dog-tags on our tree.

But what about the epic tree-topper? A heavy metal tree couldn’t use an innocent angel. Look for other ornaments throughout the year that might be suitable for a tree so epicly metal. Dragon toys, kiss dolls or zombie figurines adorn metalhead’s trees. My friends use a witch brought back from Germany. We use a funny black and red baubly-thing, until I can get around to making a double-bass drumkit.

Some bands, like the epic Manowar, even sell Christmas tree baubles. Check out the Manowar decorations here.

Make Thoughtful Christmas Presents

I used to think of Christmas presents months in advance, and spend weeks on end handmaking them. Creating unique gifts was my way of making Christmas special. One year I spent a couple of months writing a novel for my then boyfriend. It was an epic tale of a talented musician who accidentally played “the forbidden chord” and found himself lost in Ancient Greece. It was a masterpiece, filled with jokes and heart-wrenching chariot races and gourd-throwing competitions. He thought it was silly. He brought me a DVD – the cheapest one he could find (he knew I wanted one that was $20 dearer). I was gutted. Ever since then, I’ve been wary of putting the usual effort into making Christmas presents.

But I’m reviving the tradition. Although we brought everybody Christmas presents in Europe/Middle East, I’m baking up a storm to bring down some goodies for my parents, sister and brother-in-law, and awesome new nephew to gorge themselves on. And let me tell you, making an almighty mess in the kitchen is a LOT more fun than traipsing around those busy shops.

There are some many things you can make that will brighten Christmas for your family and friends. I have heaps of ideas, so I think I’ll write another post on this topic.

Last year, my friend Andy and I spent a day making chocolate gift boxes. We kept a supply in the cupboard for all those times we needed a gift for someone. Cost us very little in money, a whole day hanging out together having fun, and the people who got the giftboxes were blown away by our creativity. It’s a triple win.

Pass on your own mythology for your Children

Just because their friends or teachers or relatives celebrate Christmas a certian way, doesn’t mean you should change your Christmas traditions so your kids “don’t feel left out”. Children are bright. They understand people think and act and believe differently. They can learn about the nativity scene and make paper angels at school without having to believe in that stuff. They can call Santa “Old Man Winter” and no one will care about the difference. They can wear their baby Slayer shirt to the Christmas pageant and no one will die. Teach your kids the traditions YOU believe matter. They’ll decide the rest for themselves.

Listen to metal Christmas songs, or just metal in general

Metalheads the world over have embraced that ubiquitious “Christmas Spirit” and released Christmas songs and albums. No metalhead could ever forget Twisted Sister’s Christmas album, or that We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year album (with Auld Land Syme sung by Girlschool. Rad). And this year, Rob Halford’s Winter Songs will be stuffed in many a metalhead’s stocking. My all-time metal favorite – Manowar’s “Silent Night” – is available for free online. Finnish death metal band Medeia have released a video for their new holiday single “antichristmas” which I would recommend checking out.

More metal, all the time!
Hail and Kill and Merry Christmas / Yule /

Every year my friends all get together for “Bogan Christmas” – a metal Christmas extravaganza of epicly kreig proportions. This year, we managed to outdo ourselves with the awesomeness of the party. There was the most fantastica array of food and drink and sweets and cake and ham (oh so good hammy ham) and ratatouille and cherries and sausage rolls and cobb loaf (courtesy of my friend Ryan, with whom I shared my super secret recipe).

So much food!

I LOVE this shirt - it reminds me of a Roman Legionaire

I was going with a slightly military theme. I love how the belts on the skirt look a little like ammunition. The skirt is actually not a skirt – it’s a pair of extremely short coulottes. My friends brought it for me as a birthday present last year. It’s awesome.

I am wearing:

skirt/shorts from Smoove in Auckland
black dirty dog sweater
black military-inspired jacket from Tripp NYC
black straight leg pants from Just Jeans
black boots
one black fingerless glove, brought from Glassons about ten years ago
black pearl beaded bracelet
lapis lazuli bracelet (brought by CDH in Seafeild in Austria)

Every year we play “the present game” which has earned quite the reputation as a bogan killer. We each bring a $5 present, put it in the centre of the cirle, and one by one everyone gets a turn to either pick a present from the centre of the circle, or steal a present from someone who’s already got one. If your present gets stolen, you can’t just steal it straight back, but you can either pick another present or steal someone elses. It’s br00tal.

This year, I wrote a little poem “the 12 days of metal xmas” and drew some pictures to go with it. This was hotly fought over, as was a box of pirate lego and a plastic sword and shield set. I got a vase with pink flowers on it.

metalheads give the BEST presents

mayhem surrounding the present game

I'm a ghost

It was an awesome night and yet another reason why I am super grateful to have such amazing friends.

What are your friends doing to celebrate Christmas?

Horns up \m/
Steff

Thanksgiving is coming up for all you wacky American folks. Personally, I don’t know how you deal with another huge family holiday so close to Christmas, but there you are: baking your pumpkin-filled pie, pumpkin-filled turkey and pumpkin-filled malt whisky and musing on people and things and events which make you feel truly grateful.

A grattitude holiday – now that’s something special. We have a few new Americans on staff at the Foundation and they hosted a thanksgiving lunch for us all today. Pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin dip and several different pumpkin pies. I’ve never had pumpkin pie before, and I’ve been missing out!

Instead of an Up the Irons! post this week, here are 25 things you might be thankful for this Thanksgiving, or really everyday, if you are a metalhead: 

1. Gravity – the often underappreciated force that keeps us where we are today.

2. Manowar – for standing up to false metal.

3. The Ancient Greeks – for inventing everything from to democracy to cutlery to clockwork to philosophy.

4. The Ancient Romans – for kicking the ass of the Ancient Greeks so we wouldn’t all have to wander around in flimsy skirts philosophising all day. Also, for inventing toilet paper, which back then was simply a sponge on a stick, but hey, you’ve gotta start somewhere.

5. Metallica – they may have put out some lackluster albums in recent years, but without them I might never have discovered metal, and this blog might never have been written.

6. The death of Hair Metal – and may it forever remain a distant spandex-glad, permed-hair nightmare.

7. Sausage Rolls – what heavy metal gathering would be complete without them?

8. Drinking Horns - Ditto. Cheers for the tip, Vikings!

9. Wordpress blog software – for making my life easier.

10. Electricity – not only does it send vicious criminals to a smouldering death, it powers our instruments, enabling us to play tr00 kvlt kreig grymm evil black metal.

11. Tarja Turunen – for giving heavy-metal soap opera fans something to obsess over.

12. genre classifications - they give us something to debate on message boards.

13. nu-metal – making rap music ever so slightly more palatable.

14. Dr Phil – for having a shiny head.

15. Germany – for giving us Blind Guardian, Kreator, and currywurst. Danke Schön!

16. Chuck Norris jokes – for uniting metalheads the world over.

17. Those pink biscuits with the sprinkles on top – because we do so love to be ironic.

18. corsets – the universal sculpter of boobies.

19. Being in love with a metalhead – you’ll never again have to fight over music in the car.

20. knock-off metal tees – cheap, metal-themed car polish cloths!

21. Death metal on your iPod – for scaring strangers on the train.

22. Ducks – the most metal creatures on earth.

23. Long-haired metal boys – don’t stop being hot!

24. Iron Maiden Merchanise – for his birthday, my friend Ryan recieved an Iron Maiden car freshener kit. I think that’s pretty much the coolest thing, ever.

25. Metalheads – Manowar said, “If you like metal, you’re my friend,” and you all take this literally. In all the world, I’ve not met more hardworking, intelligent, fun, genuine, kind or misunderstood people. I am honoured to be counted among your ranks.

What are you thankful for this week?

Yours in Metal
Steff

I said I had some photos from the other weekend to put up, and here they are, some ten days late. I am still struggling with my Mac. Last night I gave myself a heart attack because I thought I’d accidentally deleted an entire Gb of photographs, including all my photographs from Egypt! Turns out, I had placed the wrong (empty) memory card into the computer.

Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the Mac’s fault …

On Friday night (two Fridays ago, now) I met up with my old friend Jessocles (of the Scrotimites, and yes, that’s a private joke :)) and some other friends and we all went out for dinner at Satya’s South Indian restaurant on K’road in Auckland. I’ve been to Satya’s many times before, but never with a group this noisy or inappropriate :) We had a total blast, though.

After this I walked down to Live Bar on Hobson street for my heavy metal fix. Two of our friend’s bands – Nullifier and Heavy Artillery – were playing along with a couple of other acts. Being Friday the 13th, the bar had a “Night of Blood” where you could come in white clothing and they’d supply the fake blood. Lots of people dressed up and it was really fun. A great night was had by all and it was kick ass to catch up with more people we hadn’t seen since we returned from holiday.

Heavy Artillery metal things up

horns up \m/

Gorgeous Tarah, who won best dressed (and rightly so). Note the mysterious devil horns slung by her boyfriend Tim \m/

During the week we set up my new Mac! (Mac-gasm. It’s so pretty, and it works! Take THAT Asus laptop with four broken keys.)

CDH puzzles over my new Mac

Because he set up my Mac for me, CDH wanted to go to the model railroad shop (see, marriage is all about compromise :)) I found this awesome sticker while waiting for his to finish debating gauge lengths with the speckly kid behind the counter.

So true, CDH, so true

This weekend I had a sleepover with my friend Iris, and we ate pizza and falafal and ice cream and watched Harry Potter. My friend Ryan hosted a picnic in Northcoate cemetery, in celebration of his impending birthday. The theme? “Malice in Wonderland”, of course.

Iris with a ladle on her head \m/

Everyone enjoying the picnic feast

We had two gate-crashers: a tourist couple who were going on a quiet stroll around Northcoate. They joined us for some cake and admired everyone’s tattoos. It was awesome!

Bunny rabbits! Best costume at the cemetery picnic

I have the world's most delicious cupcake \m/

Ryan made the world’s most delicious cupcakes – double chocolate filled with caramel. Nom nom nom. I wore

black long-sleeved spider top from Australia
red jacket from H&M
black and red checked skirt (GLP) from Smoove
Purple and black polka dot knee-high socks
Multi-coloured rainbow hat from Norway (I wanted to wear my tophat, but it’s in storage)
All-purpose work boots from NZ Safety

After the cemetery party I headed into town for another friend’s birthday drinks. The bar we went to had beer TOWERS. Literally, these babies were nearly as tall as I was. Epic. It was a great night.

Also, a few shots from our Halloween BBQ from a few weeks back.

Liz, the sweet metal witch girl

Tim, working on his Dimebag halloween costume and trying not to stab himself in the testicles

success! Dimebag Darryl halloween costume, and Tim's testicles remain intact \m/

We weren't expecting trick-or-treaters, and by the looks on their poor faces, they weren't expecting us, either!

This weekend I won’t be doing as much socialising, as we are FINALLY moving into our new house! Wooo \m/

What have you been up to recently?

Horns Up! \m/
Steff

Following on from mu post on Throwing an Epic Metal Party, I bring you another Top Ten List of Doom!

If you want to throw a kick-ass party, and don’t have any ideas, you could try one of these. Some of these I’ve hosted, some I’ve been a guest at, and some I hope to attend in the future.

1. I love metal movie marathons – I once attended a Manowar party with about 80 people all crammed into this tiny, tiny house watching every Manowar DVD. We had a BBQ going, beer flowing freely, and a head-banging lesson. Epic night. Epic.

2. Metallica Guitar Hero Championship! Followed – of course – by an epic round of Death Metal Singstar (perform singstar songs in your best death metal vocals – lets see who gets uber points now! Mwahahaha)

3. For a friend’s birthday, why not throw a little-kids party, complete with cupcakes, fairy bread, sausage rolls, pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey (or my sadistic version – pin the Lollipop on the Inappropriate Stranger) and a round or two of Drunken Metal Twister (It’s pretty simple – drunk metallers playing twister with Slayer blaring in the background).

4. If you know someone who lives near the country, go out camping on a farm. Play Sardines and Spotlight when it gets dark, then sit around a bonfire grilling sausages and telling ghost stories.

I once attended a campout party where the bonfire was the size of a house. I’m not exaggerating. A two-storeyed, four bedroom house with an adjoining garage and two bathrooms. And a sleepout. We doused it with petrol and shot fireworks at it till it exploded with the loudest BOOM I’ve ever heard. A huge nushroom cloud barrelled into the sky, and this intense wave of heat engulfed us, even from fifty metres back. Someone called the police. Now THAT’s metal.

5. Have memorial parties for your favorite metalhead ghosts. We like to have Norwegian black metal parties in memory of Euronymous. I make inverted cross pizza (recipe coming soon), the girls paint everyone with corpse-paint, and we pose in the forest and howl at the moon.

I’m only half kidding :)

6. Host a picnic in a cemetery or other spooky, abandoned place. Bring fine china, fancy teas and elaborate food. Dress up in your metal best and take photos around the gravestones.

7. Drinking games involving potatoes win every time.

8. If you’re too poor to make it to Wacken, throw your own metal festival in your backyard. Get a mate’s band to play, drink beer from plastic cups, make a water slide out of a tarp, set up a tent, stay up all night and get really sunburned.

I'm giving my short-haired friend a headbanging lesson

9. Have a Make-Your-Own-Pizza and Decorate-Your-Own-Cupcake party, with a prize for the most kreig design.

10. Everyone must go to the liquer store and buy one bottle of something totally random. Return to the party house. Mix mystery coctails. Repeat until everyone falls over.

What about you guys? Have you been to any epic metal parties I’ve missed lately? Tell me about the best (and worst) parties you’ve attended.

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff

Dear Steff Metal

I love my friends to pieces, but I’m starting to get bored. Every weekend we go to someone’s house, drink beer, and talk about metal. It’s the same every week. You have such a fun-sounding life – how do you throw epic metal parties?

***

Beer, beef, babes and brutality. I’m oft told these three ingredients make up the ultimate metal party. CDH and I are quite social creatures – we go to parties, gigs and events every weekend. I love hosting our friends at our place, or planning crazy outings. We’ve attended – and hosted – some amazing parties, and also slumped home after some totally boring ones.

Many elements come together to create an awesome metal party. Having a core group of kickass, like-minded friends really helps. I’m truly blessed to be surrounded by several intelligent, hilarious, fun-loving and happy people; when we come together, magic happens.

In my humble, fun-loving opinion, “Drinking for the Sake of Drinking” parties are NEVER as much fun as events organized around a theme. When I plan a bogan party I try and form it around a specific event – a new zombie movie I’ve acquired, a dress-up theme, a holiday, a fake-holiday (Dimebag Darrell appreciation day, anyone?)

Once you’ve thought of a suitably metal theme, decide on a basic format for your party – this varies depending on your group of friends and what you’re all used to. Do you normally BYO alcohol and the host supplies food? Or do you all mission across the road to the takeaway shop together? When will you start the fun? What time will you kick everyone out? Are people welcome to crash the night? Do you want people to get a little tipsy or totally wasted?

Your decisions depend on your level of comfort regarding guests in your home, and the comfort of your other housemates. I love playing hostess, and CDH enjoys a great night but needs to be able to tell everyone to fuck off home. He can’t handle other people staying the night, so we only let people stay over in emergencies. Because no one crashes at our place, our parties tend to be less drink-heavy than our other friends.

I love food (no surprises there) so when I host a party I go all-out on the menu. Pizza, chips and guacamole, nachos, cakes, cob loaf, doughnuts, sausage rolls, pigs in blankets, quiche … all made from scratch, of course. We’ve also had “Bogan Viking Feasts” where everyone brings one element of an epic roast dinner and we all eat like Viking Lords.

What are you going to do at your party? After I’ve come up with a theme, I try to think of one or two fun activities relating to that theme. If you’re having a Bogan picnic, set up a croquet set on the back lawn. For a friend’s birthday party, wrap a present in multiple layers of newspaper and play Pass the Parcel.

Once you’ve decided on an event, you need send out the invites. We used to txt everyone we knew to inform them about an upcoming party, but we now tend to make event pages on Facebook.

I like Facebook event pages (‘grog fests’ if you use Facebook pirate) because you can set a whole atmosphere with a fun description and photo, while adding all the pertinent details: like is it BYO / Drinks provided? I also like being able to see how many people are definitely coming, and I can discuss organizational details prior to the event.

The disadvantage to Facebook being twofold:

1. Not everyone will be on Facebook and you can quickly alienate friends by forgetting to invite them to events (I’ve seen it happen).
2. If you DON’T want to invite people on Facebook they will still be able to see you’re having a party that they’re not invited to, and they will feel bad, and that won’t be nice.

As long as you’re prepared to sort out either of these two issues, Facebook invites work great! However, an old-fashioned mailed invite will make all your friends feel special – we had so much fun making and delivering our scroll wedding invites, we’re going to do them again for our next party.

On the day of the party, straighten your house; put your baking in the oven, and clear away anything you don’t want broken (drunk Bogans can be quite rambunctious!) Put some ice in the freezer, set out the food, place some ashtrays outside for the smokers, and pop open a bottle of wine. Choose an album that matches the atmosphere of your party and put this on at the time you expect guests to arrive (I choose Manowar).

I automatically expect everyone to be a half-hour late. Because of this, I schedule parties a half hour before I plan on them actually starting. Never start a party at 8pm and expect everyone to show up at 8 on the dot – it just won’t happen.

Now that everyone’s at your party, keep an eye on the snack table and try to involve the wallflowers in the action, but don’t forget to remove your hostess hat and socialize! Ask people about their week, offer them beer and food, introduce them to everyone they don’t know, and exclaim over their newest metal t-shirt purchase.

Most importantly, have a blast! Let whatever happen, happen, and take lots of photos to embarrass your friends on Facebook in the morning!

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff