Steff Metal

CDH and I are still sick – blah. the resident tour Doctor says it seems to be a viral thing and should be cleared up in the next couple of days.

We crossed the border into Jordan today – what a change! CDH was so relieved as Syria was – although interesting – a bit of a smelly, dirty place, and it made us so sick. We are in Amman, which is a huge city of 3 million people (1/2 the Jordanian population), but it’s much cleaner and they even have western food here. We’re trying to eat bland food that our stomachs can handle till we get better.

Today we went to look at the citidel and then to take a taxi to the local underground metal store. We met the coolest taxi driver, he took us there, telling us all sorts of stories on the way. Turns out, underground metal store closed two years ago. The guy should probably update his website. So our driver took us to see an amazing black and white mosque and told us more stories and brought us coffee (it tastes like dirt). Was such a great afternoon!

We’re resting up in hotel before going out to dinner. Well, I will go out to dinner, and CDH will stay here and have McDonalds delivered :) (they do delivery here. McDeath’s also do a “Chicken Big Mac” apparently.

Tomorrow we go swimming in the dead sea! then we go to Petra for a day and a half, where I can do some Indianna Jones poses in my wicked cowboy hat, then into the desert to stay the night in a bedouin village, on to Aqaba on the red sea where CDH will be doing lots of diving, and then we climb Mt Sinai and move on into Egypt! Yaaay!

Photos soon, I promise!
Salaam Alekum!
Steff

Sorry guys, but pictures won’t happen on this post. We are currently in Damascus, Syria, and will head across the border to Jordan in two days.

I promise when I return I shall delight you all with an in-depth analysis of heavy metal in Syria. Currently, all I have to delight you are tales of how bloody ill I’ve been. Syrian food is out-of-this-world tasty amazing, but boy howdy … urgh. I pity the people who’ve had to clean our hotel room.

We took 3 hours to cross the Turkey/Syrian border, a distance of 2km. We had to travel across in groups of 3 and 4 in these tiny volvos that looked ready to fall apart. They weren’t big enough for all our luggage so the drivers propped the boots open and secured our luggage with sellotape. We were asked for our passports about 20 times, had to go to the Doctor who tested our temperature in case we had swine flu (how he can tell from our temperature, especially when his instrument seemed to be out, I don’t know), fill out some silly paperwork, and avoid the land mines, we were all good!

Last night we stayed in Palmyra in the desert, and I wandered around the temple of Baal while CDH was busy being ill. We all had dinner with the bedouin over on the Oasis – chicken and rice cooked in the ground. A Danish Archaeologist turned up to dinner also, so I had a great time talking with him.

Last night we bribed someone into taking us into a forbidden tomb. It was amazing and totally worth the 27cent bride :)

This is the first internet I’ve been able to use since arriving in Syria, and I can’t upload pictures as the signal’s very weak. Most of the internet cafe’s here run on dial-up, and the government has banned sites like hotmail. wikipedia and facebook (I STILL can’t get facebook on this server). We were in a city of 4million people and 3 ATMs, one of which was broken.

Syria – it’s totally something else.

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff

That is all

Cave hotel in Cappedocia

Love and Horns \m/
Steff

Standing in the calcium falls.

We walked up these amazing calcium falls to the ruins of Hieropolis. As it’s a World Heritage site, you have to take off your shoes at the bottom and walk up barefoot. You are not supposed to swim in the pools as it discolours the water, but all the crazy Russians do it. They also make strange and wonderful poses. Mostly Strange.

We climbed up about 5pm and climbed back down while the sun was setting.

I’m wearing:

Bloodstock Open Air t-shirt
Multi-coloured paint splodge skirt from ValleyGirl of all places. It has netting underneath and is suitably foofy for my tastes.
boots (in my hand)
CDH’s cowboy hat

I shall talk to you all again soon!
Steff

A huge Steff metal Up the Irons! to:

Turkish food, for being amazing, especially chocolate pancakes and kebabs and rice and hummus. The amazing experience of being here during Ramadam and being part of such a deeply religious experience. Our hotel in Panakuule, which has an epic pool, climbing the walls of Troy, air conditioning, free time with my husband, the Turkish guy who stopped us in the street the other day to say “heavy metal!”, when everything is organized for us and we just have to show up, our tour group (who are all rad), the call to prayer eminating from the nearby mosque (there is always a nearby mosque) five times a day – it’s a magical sound, having to surrepticiously throw the goat as it’s seen as “the evil eye” over here, the fact that every place we travel to is innundated with hundreds of adorable kittens, and the wonderful sights, smells and sounds of Turkey.

Yes, I am happy

that's me, throwing the goat at Troy

Steff

me outside the riechstag in Berlin

James and I got in to Istambul last night, and after a whirlwind taxi ride through Old Town (over 100kmph along narrow one way streets) we arrived at our hotel, to find our room had been given away! Luckily, they found a room for us in a hotel around the corner. A tiny room, with an even tinier toilet. Istambul for the win.

We are back in our original hotel, and will be spending the night here before leaving for Troy in the morning. So far, we have taken another crazy taxi ride to the Agia Sofia (a 400AD Byzantium church converted to a mosque), got tricked into having our shoes shined, and done some laundry in the sink. We’re about to head out to find Hammer Muzik.

Although it’s exciting to start a new part of our adventure, it is sad to leave Germany and our wonderful friends. We hope to return soon.

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff

Cooking viking bread at Hobro viking village. I have the recipe to make when I get home.

We have returned to Germany, land of Currywurst and the best driving in Europe, and await a meeting with our awesome Wacken friends tonight. I thought I would share a few photos with you all from our adventure around Scandinavia (scandelvania).

we are so kreig

a lego dragon at legoland, Dennmark

No bogan trip to Bergen would be complete without a trip to Fantoft Stave church, now fully equipped with an epic sprinkler system and several fire extinguishers. I am wearing my awesome multi coloured hat CDH brought for me. I love it!

Lin and I went shopping and I picked out this rad zipper dress, orange shorts and a cute red jackets. yaaay for new things!

I loved this dress. I did not buy it in the end, but I shall remember it always

I did, however, buy these orange shorts!

that is all for now. more soon!

Keep it Kreig!
Steff

I’m in Stravanger, Norway now, sitting under a tent outside the kitchen of a gorgeous campground by a fjiord. I love Norway – there’s really nothing more to say.

Anywho – here’s what I wore on a fabulous day we spent exploring the Island of Bornholm. Although we took the ferry from Alstad, Sweden, the Island actually belongs to Denmark (having stoled it back from the Swedes at some point) making our currency exchange very confusing. Despite this, it was epic – hosting a castle, a kickass ice cream shop, an abundance of glass-blowers and artisans, and the best smoked herring in the universe.

Steff at Hammershus Castle, Bornholm Island, Sweden

Damm you husband! Let me out!

I am wearing:
brand new skirt from Vortex, found at Bloodstock Open Air
Greek corinthian helmet t-shirt, brought at the Greek National Archaeological Museum
more crazy socks
boots
a big smike, cuz I am in Scandinavia (or, as CDH calls it – Scandelvania)

one more for ya!

GRUNT!

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff

Every metalhead knows there are only three true metal languages: Norwegian, German and Orcish. So to help you on your path to ultimate metaldom, I’ve compiled this list of handy metal phrases in Norwegian. Most of these were pilfered from threads on the Wacken forum archives page, so head over there if you’re interested in learning more.

Gaahl, vocalist for the Norwegian black metal band Gorgoroth

Below I’ve listed a selection of delightful phrases you need to know to speak fluent heavy metal Norwegian. (Warning, contains some coarse language)

General Phrases

God morgen = Good Morning

Ka e klokka? = What’s the time?

Skjitbra = really good (shite-good)

Dødsrått = Even better (Death-raw)

Gi meg en øl kjære venn = Bring me beer dear friend!

Hvordan har du det? = How are you doing?

Jeg må spy… = I’ve got to puke …

Kor i hælvete e dassen?? = Where the hell is the toilet? (Usually needed quite quickly)

Faen hvor dyrt det er da! = Fuck, it is so expensive! (said every day while visiting Norway)

Bakrus = Hangover

Fyllesjuk = Really bad hangover

Full = Drunk

Dritafull = Dead drunk

Vann (usually said early in the morning) = WATER!!! NOW!

Har du no mat? = Do you got anything (i) can eat?

Crowd waiting for Wolf at Bloodstock 2007. Photo by I is Ashby

Festival Talk

Du er søt = You’re pretty

Du er drit pen = You’re really pretty

Mitt eller ditt telt? = mine or your tent?

Kor faen e telte mitt?? = Where the hell is my tent

Du lukter noe inn i helvete vondt = You smell bad

Gi faen i å snike i køen = Get back in line

Har du en øl? = Did you got a beer for me?

Skål for faen = Cheers\Proost for the devil!

Hvor er dassen? = Wheres the toilet?

Jeg elsker deg = I love you

Fest = Party

Jeg ikke har en øl = I don’t have a beer. Too bad :(

The opposite sex

For ei dame = What a woman!

Klø mæ på ryggen = Would you scratch my back?

Ikke bit = Don’t bite!

Kæm spælle no? = Who’s playing now?

Vil du værra me mæ heim? = Do you want to go come with me to my home?

Du har nydelige øyne = you have beautiful eyes

Du lukter så godt = you smell really good

Du er så annerledes = you are so different from everybody else (a sure winner..)

Jeg spanderer en øl = i’ll buy you a beer

Jeg blir så glad når jeg ser deg = I become happy when I see you

Jeg har sett på deg i hele kveld = I have been watching you all night

Du er nydelig = you are gorgeous!

Insults and Swearwords

Perkele! = Devil. Best swear word in world by popular vote. Use this as often as possible, no matter what the situation. Perkele can be put in the middle of any phrase to add strength.

Hestkuk = Horsedick

Kukhode\Kukhue = Dickhead

Faen\fanden = the Devil

Hold Kjeft \ klapp igjen = Shut up

Dra til Helvete = Go to hell

Kyss mæ i ræva = Kss my ass

kveithau = big flat fish’s head (usually used about some idiot)

Remember folks, this list is just for a giggle. Please don’t go around calling people ‘kveithau’ and ‘Kukhode’. No one deserves to be insulted, in any language.

We’ve arrived in Calais in one piece (for a given value of one) and are on our way up to Scandinavia. I shall keep you updated on how many useful Norwegian metal phrases we manage to utelize whilst in Norway. If you can think of any others, please let me know!

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff

What I wore to Avebury

CDH has all the good photos of me, and he hasn’t put them on the computer yet. In the meantime, here’s a not-so-good photo of me and what I wore when we visited Avebury last week.

Jacket from Tripp NYC (it has bondage rings up the back of it)
Red and black skirt from GLP
black top from Dirty Dog (also has bondage rings on the sleeves)
purple polka dot socks. Yaaay, I loves them! Thanks Wacken!
Work boots.
Celtic Knot necklace from my mother

More photos soon. What are you guys up to? Interesting things, me hopes.

Super Snuggles and Shoggoth Kisses
Steff